This post is mainly targeted towards young men and women, maybe from the ages of 17 to 29, that aren’t quite established career-wise yet. I have a wide variety of friends, from housewife-types to entrepreneurs to teachers, etc. I love when people have ambitions and goals but I hate when all this stops immediately after they get into a relationship.
I’ll give you an example…
There is this girl named Stacey, she is in her third year of university for chemical engineering, and is SO pumped to graduate and wants to work in Dubai. This has a been a dream of hers since she was fourteen.
Along comes Josh. Josh starts dating Stacey and eventually they fall in love… She drops EVERYTHING. Maybe not initially intentionally, but she starts to not care about school, or Dubai, or any of the goals she’s been planning for forever. She starts getting ahead of the relationship and starts thinking of how she wants her future to be with Josh. It’s ALL that’s on her mind. It entails settling down for an average house, in an average neighbourhood, with two kids, and she stays at home, he works the rigs, and his dreams are now her dreams. There is nothing wrong with this life, but it’s not the life that she wanted, so now it’s settling. This leads to regrets ten years down the road when she sees her colleagues owning engineering firms internationally, that track that she was on but left.
They break up. Now she’s lost her career (not to late to continue though), her ambitions (because of her heartbreak), and probably some money.
Okay, I know that example was all over the place, but I hope you understand what I meant. Maybe you won’t, because we all think what life “should be” differently from person to person, but I strongly believe in having a balance between relationships and your career. I just don’t think that she should have changed her life for someone.
If he loved her, he would have encouraged her to finish her degree and GO to Dubai, or do whatever she wants to be successful. He would have waited for her or went with her. And I don’t mean he’d go with her and drop everything in HIS life, but they’d find a way that both would reach their goals. Relationships are about teamwork and mutuality. If a man or woman is stopping someone from accomplishing their goals, they don’t love you.
Love is selfless not selfish.
I probably sound like I’m coming off aggressive or on a rant, but I really just shake my head at people that let relationships take over their life and they forget about the dreams that they’re truly in love with from such a young age. A relationship is suppose to compliment your life and future, not discourage it. Support and encourage each other in your future endeavours while you’re making plans for your future together. It’s the only way you’ll both be happy in the long run. I know that if I dated someone that kept telling me to just live off him and not worry about starting my own career, I’d dump him! ASAP. Also, if someone was dropping all their goals for me, i wouldn’t want him either.
I’m not trying to push what I think is how it should be on anyone, but being someone that values a successful career AND a successful relationship, these discouraging type of relationships are not acceptable to me. Don’t settle!
Let me know what you think and thanks for checking out the blog 🙂